Just like that, my fourth and final audition had drawn to a close. The last beat dropped and the last words came from my mouth: “I am chasing my dream SoulCycle- and I want you do to do the same.” In a matter of 60 seconds, my life had changed for the better.
Did I get it?
I still don’t know. But I am writing as if I did. And even if I didn’t, my life still changed. I had made a decision to pursue what set MY soul on fire; not the soul of my brother, mother, friend…I made the decision to passionately pursue what I wanted most.
You see, the thing about taking responsibility for your life, is that you have to accept and own the good, the bad, the ugly. When shit that hits the fan, you figure it out; when diamonds fall from the sky, you count yourself blessed. That is the brilliant thing about responsibility: you make a commitment to yourself to take charge of your life.
So where does this tangent come from? It comes from realizing that I am so glad I had to audition four times. I would not pass that up for the world. Each and every time I learned something about myself. As I have mentioned before, motivation and determination are like muscles that you need to work on a daily basis. This entire journey has refined me. Wading through the process has made me stronger. It takes a special kind of heart to stay determined while chasing a dream after three roadblocks.
So here I sit, on my couch 9 days post audition, feeling so thankful that I just went through a journey and a half. It fascinates me to sit and reflect on where I have been and who I have become. I am equally proud of the woman that is standing before me, as the one that stands behind me. I don’t care that it sounds cliché, because I am just so damn proud of myself. And for the record, being proud of yourself doesn’t mean that you are arrogant; it simply allows you to acknowledge all the beautiful, badass, amazing qualities you have. Those awesome qualities are bound to be balanced by your quirks and shortcomings, and that is what makes you human.
So for what it’s worth, I feel as if I passed the audition. My journey has just begun. A new chapter is opening as the previous one closes. I urge you to figure out what sets your soul on fire. What lights up every cell of your being with joy? What is the dream out there that has your name written all over it? See it. Chase it. Grab onto it and never let it go.